Late last year I told a good friend that my "word" for 2012 was going to be YES.
Michelle at Bleeding Espresso has written a beautiful post about her word UP here.
2011 was very stressful when it came to my career. I cannot have another year like that.
I must change how I'm responding to the fact that the industry I have worked in for over fourteen years continues to shrink. This is the new normal. If the economy started booming tomorrow, the situation in Hollywood would not improve.
Even during the best of times, it was rough going in Hollywood for writers who happened to be women. Being a black women who writes films? Bwahah. We are rarer than pink unicorns.
I won't give up though. At this point I really don't care about the dumb racist stuff some people in Hollywood say. The complete lack of understanding that there is a big ass world west of the 405 is hurting our industry.
I live in Italy and will be spending more time in the Caribbean. I can't worry about the people in Hollywood who insist on seeing me in a very narrow way.
Being in St. Martin and Anguilla these last few weeks has been extremely helpful and inspiring.
Instead of obsessing about the word NO from L.A. I'm going to work on myself and say YES to new opportunities.
I tend to over think things. It's not necessarily a bad trait. There is nothing wrong being organized and/or having a plan of action.
However, I can get so worked up, doubt takes over, and I start to second guess myself.
I was speaking to an expat friend who's struggling with her writing. She works in film production, but that is not her passion. We were talking about how we admire people who just go for it. We sit here and think, "I have to return to school so I could be qualified to do this creative job."
There isn't a right or wrong way to pursue a creative endeavor. An Italian couple were asking me about interior design for their office. Instead of saying YES and looking at the space, I thought, "Oh, I'm not qualified. I've only been interning a few months and I'm focusing on residential."
Another expat friend who had to completely reinvent her career in Italy, told me to I can't keep thinking linear. I should have at least seen the space, then get back to them. They know me and that I don't have a Master's in design. They were asking my opinion anyway.
All around me I see people who pursue their goals and make things happen for themselves. Yes, some have had help from their famous and/or successful parents or boyfriends. Connections can open doors, but it was still up to them to deliver.
I have spent a life-time believing in the whole go to school, climb the ladder, meritocracy thing. It was drilled into me that I had to work twice as hard in order to succeed. Okay, so why am I still broke?
In mid-life it's time to do something different.
2012 is going to be a great year. I'm saying *YES.
*Within reason. I won't be saying YES to the cold cuts dude that keeps asking me out.