Mini rant alert .
I was sitting in the park with two Italian girlfriends when I heard the word Zitella for the first time. One friend said her mother was on her case again about being single. She said she loved her life and wish people would stop assuming otherwise.
This is something I can relate to. I understand why my mom asks but I have to say I'm getting annoyed with random people back in the States asking me if I'm dating someone and the sound of disappointment when I say no.
People this is not Under The Tuscan Sun. It's true many of my expat friends have met their boyfriends/husbands here. However, I resent being made to feel like something is wrong with me because no smart, gorgeous, rich, man named Francesco, Matteo, Carlo etc. etc. has swept me off my feet.
I could have stayed in L.A. where I wouldn't have to deal with a language barrier and Italian red tape and feel shitty. I don't need to bring that nonsense overseas.
Also whoever is the black woman running around America saying "Italian men love black women", please stop. Robert DeNiro is only one person and he's Italian-American.
This myth is adding more pressure. "What? You're a sister in Italy and you're still single? What is the problem?!!"
Men here like women period. My theory on this stereotype is since we are so not considered desirable in our own culture and country unless we look a very specifcic way, when black women come here they are stunned by the attention. I mean even men who look like trolls in the U.S. expect to date a Beyonce or Halle look-a-like. So when fine ass Marco throws a "Ciao Bella" your way I can see why it's earth shattering. Especially if you are over the age of 25.
Anyway I have been on a few dates but I don't get this whole group date thing. The Caribbean side thinks this is a nice way to get to know someone. The American side thinks this is taking forever.
The people asking in the States need to know the divorce rate here is much lower compared to America (in California it's close to 70%). So the pool of available men is smaller.
Maybe one day I will get married. Maybe I won't and will be single for the rest of my life. If it's the latter I wish people back off and stop looking at me with pity.
Spinster has such a negative connotation. No one is shedding a tear for George Clooney, a confirmed bachelor. However, the narrative for Jennifer Aniston is the complete opposite. I'm not a fan but it's ridiculous how the tabloids are constantly saying "Poor Jen!". Excuse me? Both she and Clooney have been married before, are healthy, very successful, etc. I'm not sure why Clooney's lifestyle is admired and Jen's is sad.