Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Under the Parisian Sun...a story

Thanks to yesterday's comments I decided to write a little story to take my mind of the fact that I am sitting here looking at stack of scripts. Today was my first day back at work. My immediate boss called me and I'Med me from France, saying the crew misses me esp. FH man, and thanks for respresenting the company well. Apparently the hotel they are staying in is very nice unlike the not so great place in Hamilton. Sigh, once again.

Yesterday it was suggested I pack my stuff send it to my family and just move overseas. Or go to the airport and fly to France with the clothes on my back, like in a typical Rom Com (how we in Hollywood refer to Romantic Comedies). Picking up from that idea:

I would need a sassy best friend to drive me to the airport. The sassy best friend could be a smug married or a gay man offering all types of advice to their single straight friend. Of course on the way to the airport there would be major traffic and I would almost miss my flight. Cue the montage of wacky L.A. road rage, me hyperventilating, an office pulling us over, the sassy best friend saying I needed to get my man and the officer replying YOU GO GIRL! eventhough we are not really saying that phrase in that context anymore (it has gone the way of OH SNAP!)

I arrive at the airport in France after flying all night and I hop into the cab of a driver who hates Americans. I get to the hotel. The snooty concierge tells me the crew has checked out of the hotel, zut allors! In reality I would call the Toronto production office or my office for the number but that is not rom com movie logic. Instead I freak out.

I wonder the street of Paris crying as a light rain falls. I sit on a bench wondering why did I fly all the way from L.A. At that moment a very aggressive mime starts to bother me. Turns out he is not a mime but a mugger and steals my purse. I am now a foreign city without my passport or money. I look up at the sky and ala Nancy Kerrigan I scream "WHHHHYYYY?!" I find a police station and there is a kind officer, who tries to help me. He too knows disappointment. He used to work security at Hermes but got fired after Oprah had, as she called it, "her Crash moment." He wasn't the one who wouldn't let her in but he was let go like everyone else on that shift. "Fate can be a cruel mistress," he said. While he tried to call the American Embassy, I took a nap on one of the hard benches.

I woke up to a major commotion. The streets were filled with chaos. It was a strike protesting the opening of a Pinkberry. First Disney Paris, then McDonalds and Starbucks and now frozen yogurt? A line had to be drawn. The Parisians were against eating a substance called yogurt that had no milk in it. What would happen to the French cows if Pinkberry conquered France? The police station cleared out, they had more important things to worry about. I walked outside and tried not to get trampled. In the distance I saw the mime eating a large Pinkberry yogurt topped with strawberries. I gave chase. We ran through colorful markets and bumped into French people who said Merde!

I almost caught up to him but he was too quick. I crossed the most beautiful bridge in Paris and yelled "Help, stop that mime!" A tall, very handsome guy grabbed him. It was FH man! He walked over and gave me my purse. He didn't ask how or why I was there. We kissed. There were fireworks, literally. True, it was not a holiday and the middle of the day but a rom com ending practically demands such things.

The End.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Woman, you're wasting your talent, and your imagination. Pack those bags, call the man on his cell phone (of which I KNOW you have the number), and find out if he'll meet you for a romantic weekend of French.... ahem.... lessons. Be straight and tell him how you feel. Make your own damn movie... without the mime.

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!" - Goethe ("Faust")

Texas Espresso said...

HAHA @ the Nancy Kerrigan "WHYYYYYYYY" LOL

sognatrice said...

Sounds like a blockbuster to me :)

Anonymous said...

tracey k/ohio: Damn! What a damn good "Rom Com"! I smiled & laughed all the way thru - having a good gay friend to help you "get yo man" made me think of Julia Robert's good gay friend in Best Friend's Wedding. Then @ the end when FH saves your purse & you guys kiss amongst fireworks, Etta James song "At Last" should begin to play (LOL!) Bravo!

chris & erin said...

yes - i agree with anon. This needs to become a real story, not a made up one. (but you can skip all the first part and fast forward to the end :))

gibber said...

I say "whyyyyyyyyyyyyy" all the time!

AND, i still say "SNAP!"

This was a wonderful rom com :)

nyc/caribbean ragazza said...

anon - thanks for the compliment. hmm I could use some French lessons.

texas - I felt bad for her when it happening but sometimes I still say why that way.

sognatrice - ha, grazie.

tracey K - oh snap! I forgot to add that "At Last" would be playing in the background.

chris & erin - If I could only write something down and then poof it happens, that would be fantastic.

gibber - Thanks. You go girl with your slang self. :)

Sara, Ms Adventures in Italy said...

I have to imagine a little French Kiss, the remake!! :)

I definitely like the inclusion of Pinkberry...hahah!

Liz said...

I have insomnia and just laughed so hard over the officer who lost a job over the Oprah flap at Hermes. Love it.

You need to find an excuse to get yourself to France....long weekend coming up anytime soon?

Shelley - At Home in Rome said...

Girl, you are good. This is cute and funny, I actually laughed out loud (which I rarely do when reading things because I'm a tough customer). Rom com, wow I have Hollywood lingo now too!!

Total crap that you weren't able to go along with the crew to Paris. How long are they going to be there? WHat about a Ryan Air flight during your Venice trip???

PS Can't wait til our Thanksgiving shindig! YAYAYAY!

nyc/caribbean ragazza said...

sara - I thought Kevin Kline was pretty funny in that movie. Where the heck is Meg Ryan these days?

liz - thank you and I hope you got some sleep. It's hard to do a long weekend trip to Europe from L.A. I am going to Venice in a couple of weeks, so I will be taking a trip soon.

shelley - Grazie. re: Ryan Air the crew will have wrapped by then. The other producer at my company had to go on this leg. It's all good because in a few weeks where will I be... in Venice! I am also very excited about Thanksgiving.

Tina said...

hehehehehehehehe thanks for the chuckle.

"You go girl!" heeheheheeheeeee

;-)
and Oprah...
and French people who say "Merde!"

I love this blog.

nyc/caribbean ragazza said...

tina - grazie mille :)

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

LOL, this is a perfect Rom com!!! Who's the cast?

I feel like I've SEEN this movie.

And you know, you never can trust a mime... (evil laughter here)

nyc/caribbean ragazza said...

jen - haven't thought about a cast and you are right about mimes. :)

sfashionista said...

okay, all of you guys are giving the rom-com genre wayyy too much credit if you put a classic song like "At Last" in the movie. It needs to be some soppy love song like "Time of My Life," "Wind Beneath My Wings," or anything by the group Wilson Phillips, and/or Mariah Carey, in the pre-hip hopificiation era, of course (No going back like babies and pacifiers with Old Dirty Bastard.)

I COMPLETELY agree with everyone that you need to get FH. And you can TALK TO THE HAND with any lame excuses. (sorry, couldn't resist.)

nyc/caribbean ragazza said...

sfashionista - haha! Talk to the hand?

Poor Old Dirty Bastard/Dirt McGirt/Baby Baby Jesus - R.I.P.

Mike Beson said...

Hey... Guess who I went to Syracuse and had a Dog at SU...his name was Albert..

mike@jerseyjobguide.com

nyc/caribbean ragazza said...

mike - shut up! long time no see. I am emailing you.